Does the universe have influence?

Lately, I have not felt like writing at all. My book still has only 30 pages. I feel I have come to a stumbling block and may have to write just to get to the points I know I am ready to write and rewrite later. The one thing that has been a concern to me of late is the power within numbers. Specifically, regarding the numbers 1111, 2222 and 3333. If I recorded the amount times, I have seen these numbers consistently in the past week, you would not believe me. I check the time on my phone, I see the numbers. I pause a YouTube video; I see the numbers. I check the mileage on my car, I see the numbers. Licence Reg, I see the numbers. Football match I check the clock and see the numbers. Now either something is trying to communicate with me, or I am making it seem that way. I think you get the point.

Now, I believe in a universal power, I believe that everything and everyone are connected within the realm of the known universe. My question to myself was why was this happening so often to me? It was true that I had lost my way a little lately, I had to remember where I was a few years ago. I was genuinely enjoying life, going places, seeing people and was in better shape back then. I had long hair, had a good job, just gotten out of a toxic relationship and was free. Everything seemed to be coming up rosy for me. The universe was reacting to my positive outlook on life. Then something happened. A girl that I knew from my university days, messaged me out of the blue. She was still in a relationship herself that was toxic, and I helped her find a way out of that. I guess I did not think it through properly. The universe was acting, and I responded. We picked up right where we left off from university it seemed. I was smitten to say the least, the thing I did not realise is I was slowly losing myself. I was always there for her, and that was very demanding of me. So much so that I lost myself. My job became laborious, my fitness out of the window, my friends pushed to the backline. This was not me at all. Yet I was happy, making her happy. The realisation of my ways came quite suddenly when I lost my job. I was not hitting the sales targets, so understandably that it came to an end. I was offered another job in Matlock. I decided to pass and see what was waiting for me out there and see where the universe would take me next.

Most people would think I was crazy to do such a thing. I did not see any harm in this. I have no dependent people relying on me and had saved some money that I was planning for a holiday with me and Kirsty. I of course told her about it, and as she had quit her job days earlier, I asked her how she would feel if we instead went on a road trip. Maybe we would find ourselves out there together. I was again trusting in the universe. It was a wonderful adventure we had planned to go up the East coast of England through to the South boarder of Scotland and follow it up west, before we eventually came down and then back to the west coast of England and through to Wales, the south of England and back home. We had it all planned and we brought the many things we would need for the adventure. I kitted out the boot of my vehicle to make a sleeping quarters and reliable storage unit. It was a good adventure, and then we reached Wales. We had used the tent at a camping ground the previous night, I woke up and she was already ready to go. She told me then, that she wanted to go back home. I of course obliged and asked her what was wrong. She just wanted to go home. It was a quiet ride back, we had one last meal from a fat food joint and then I found myself at her home. I helped her with her stuff, and we hugged. The last thing she ever said to me from her mouth was: “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed”. That stung bitterly, I mean I know I am not perfect; I never delude myself of that, but what the fuck? I got in my car and went. I was annoyed, I really wanted to see Wales again, it is beautiful. So, I got back home, dismantled the makeshift bed and storage, unpacked my things, then went for a bath. As I came out of the bath, I had messages from her. She was pissed I did not message her, she decided it was not working out for her and ended it through a text message. She wrote: ‘I told you, as soon as I wasn’t happy, you would lose me’. I tried ringing her but to no avail. This was the week before my 30th birthday. Then it hit me like a sack of ice. In the last month, I had lost my job, my girlfriend and pretty much all my money. (That trip was expensive, seriously should have picked a holiday abroad).

I cannot even remember what happened in the weeks that followed. I was pissed off though, but man was I tired. It had been a while since I did not have someone wanting my attention every single moment of the day, and that was good to have that back again. After my birthday came and went, she messaged me again. I never replied. Then I went to the gig we had planned to go to together (She had bought the tickets as a present) I went with someone else. The next day I get another message ‘Who did you go to the gig with’? I never replied. That is the last message she ever sent me. I think it fits well to the monument of our relationship. She was only ever interested in what I could do for her. I did love her though, I guess that is why it was such a hard pill to swallow. I guess I needed to write this in order to understand the truth. Especially with the Covid situation as it is now, I guess my mind has been wandering back there lately. With this understanding of what had been playing on my mind of late, I wonder if that had something to do with the numbers I have been seeing regularly.

I research into it. The first thing that pops up ‘Angel Number’. What is this? Some more mystic Meg bullshit? I think to myself. I read on:

1111: Seeing angel number 1111 should also be your motivation to eliminate all negative thoughts from your mind.

Also, you should eliminate all other negative things from your life and live happily. If you are thinking in a positive way, then you will be able to attract positive energy into your life. But, if you think negatively, then negative things will happen to you and your angels are trying to tell you that through angel number 1111.

If you keep seeing angel number 1111 everywhere, it means that miracles are possible and something great will happen to you. If you think that your life has no sense and if you are going through a difficult period right now, then we can tell you that angel number 1111 will change your life completely.

2222: We have already said that angel number 2222 is a symbol of calmness and peace. When this number comes into your life, you will become calm and you will change your way of thinking and perceiving things. You will become a more positive person and you will realize that life is something beautiful.

You just need to learn how to live it and how to enjoy in little things that you have all around you. If you recognize angel number 2222 and if you accept the message from your angels, you will learn how to think in a positive way and how to live better. Your angels will help you get rid of all negative things from your life and they will give you their support.

3333: If angel number 3333 has appeared in your life more than once, it is possible that your angels are trying to catch your attention this way. They want to tell you that your future will be bright and full of success.

You need to accept the message that has been sent to you and to try to interpret it more thoroughly.

We have already told you what secret meanings may be hidden behind angel number 3333, so it will not be hard for you to realize what it means when you see this number somewhere.

First of all you should know that the number that your angels have sent to you will give you motivation and encouragement to keep working hard. You need to accept all your responsibilities and obligations and to do the things more seriously.

All these have been directly cited from:

As much as I hate to admit it, these ‘angel numbers’ really hit me in a place I had not respected for a while, my soul.  I am still a very spiritual person, and this resonates with me. The universe was reaching out again, but my trust has wavered. I fear, that by trusting the universe again I open myself up for my pain and misery, but wow that scenery was breath-taking, maybe it is time to trust the universe again, or maybe I should have never stopped.

Do you believe in universal influence?

Have you ever seen these numbers appear frequently?

Are we all just part of a bigger plan?

Peace and love as always!

Happy International Peace Day


  1. Freedom from disturbance; tranquillity.

2. A state or period in which there is no war or a war has ended.

Happy international peace day everybody. Here’s to hoping that we eventually manage to get there. When we have had so many problems to deal with this year it’s hard to imagine what a peaceful world would look like. For me peace is when you lose yourself. When you are lost completely in a moment that you are the moment. For me peace can be found at the peak of a mountain, the eyes of a lover, dancing, or the laugh of a baby. These to me are all moments of complete consciousness. When I am aware of the reality I am in, that it overwhelms me with life and love. Such are the wonders of life.

Where can your peace be found?

Peace and love as always!

Philosophy saved my life

About three years ago I became fascinated with philosophy, I needed to find a reason; a purpose for living, I was struggling with some personal demons, so I did my research like I do with most everything. It was during this time that I began listening to Alan Watts (My personal favourite) It was life changing for me. So much so, that my friends and family thought I was part of a cult. So funny this notion is to me (I am in hysterics as I write this). The truth is, that is how much his insight into the way of the world affected it me. It had a profound influence over me and my way of living and if I am honest if it were not for him, I don’t think I would be here right now writing this piece. So as a homage to philosophy in general I have decided to share a few of my favourites, accompanied by an understanding of the reasons behind them. These reasons apply to me personally, you should therefore gain whatever insight is personal to you from them. In doing this I hope it will help you on your life’s journey, as it has helped me on mine.

Everything that happens happens as it should, and if you observe carefully, you will find this to be so. ~Marcus Aurelius

Life as it is now, and existence is the way it should be in the context of the universe. If it were not so, then you would not be. A similar connotation would be life is a wave, it is better to flow with it, than against it. Why worry when everything is as exactly as it should be, just be.

The essence of philosophy is that a man should so live that his happiness shall depend as little as possible on external things. ~Epictetus

True happiness for me, does not come from external things. I am not controlled by the want of a better phone, bigger T.V, better car. These are only things, and do not control my happiness. Happiness for me comes from within, from nature and from life itself. That is not to say that I do not indulge in the finer arts, specifically books. A few years ago, a homeless man and his S.O broke into my car, they stole my Sony headphones and my I-pod and some money. I caught them in the act, but they rushed off. I did not report it, I thought that they really must have needed it more than me. Although that is not to say I do not miss the personal collection of music that was made by me for me on the I-pod, wish I had a back-up of that.

If anyone tells you that a certain person speaks ill of you, do not make excuses about what is said of you but answer, “He was ignorant of my other faults, else he would not have mentioned these alone.” ~Epictetus

Be yourself and be proud of yourself. Most importantly accept you for who you are. No matter what other people may think of you, or what they may say about you behind your back. This is what makes you an individual after all. Let go of the fear.

“kindly let me help you or you will drown,” said the monkey putting the fish safely up a tree.

~Alan watts

My personal favourite. Through life you will have people that come and people that go. These people may at times decide what is best for you, but do they really know themselves? Does anyone really know what is right for anyone else? After all we are all just living through our own hopes and fears. This resonates with me even now, when I turn on the news, to see the leaders of the world, sitting on their moral high horse of hypocrisy.

I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is.

~ Alan watts

If you are like me, then you will find yourself day dreaming through out the day of past events. The truth of this being that your past is now existing in your present. The present being the only moment that you truly exist. When we are lost in our thoughts and desires for the future, understand that it is occurring in the present moment. So, when I wish for the future, I often reflect on this and therefore live in the past. Such a paradox. Don’t waste your life wishing away, otherwise you are neglecting the only true moments you have,

“Television is by nature the dominator drug par excellence. Control of content, uniformity of content, repeatability of content make it inevitably a tool of coersion, brainwashing, and manipulation.”

~Terence Mckenna

More of a statement against conformity and complacency than a philosophy, but words of wisdom none the less. When black and white televisions were the way that people watched television, people began to dream in black and white. The influence of advertisements on people, is a force to be reckoned with, so much depends on consumerism for the maintaining of a capitalist society. Television programmes act as a coercion not only for zombification but to distract from the real problems of the world. Think of all the many things that could have been accomplished by people if they only turned their television off. Then again, hold that thought and think of all the things that would not have been accomplished, if the people that accomplished the great things would have instead watched television.

The rabbit snare exists because of the rabbit. Once you’ve gotten the rabbit, you can forget the snare. Words exist because of meaning. Once you’ve gotten the meaning, you can forget the words. Where can I find a man who has forgotten words so I can talk with him?”


I think this is self-explanatory. Do not hold onto things too much, for they are acting as cruxes in your life. Do not hold onto your fears, find ways of getting past them, so you can let them go.

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”

~Lao Tzu

From arguably the very first philosopher. Throughout your life, you see yourself within the realm of yourself within your own perception of how you perceive yourself and the world around you. If you were to let go of this, you can become whatever it is that you might wish to be in life. If you are scared of heights, go skydiving. Life is yours to conquer.

I will leave you now with an excerpt from a transcript of Alan Watts, that tickles me with laughter.

The master Bokuju was asked, “We have to dress and eat every day, and how do we escape from all that?” In other words, how do we get out of routine? And he said, “We dress, we eat.” He said, “I don’t understand.” Bokuju said, “If you don’t understand, put on your clothes and eat your food.”~ Alan Watts talking about Zen  

Peace and Love as always!


A planted seed

Roots intertwine deeply

Pushing through walls

Springs birth

Reflected in the estuary

Skies of baby blue

Ghostly steps etched

Lost to the promenade

Summer of tulips and lilac

Painted canvas of opal

Monument and testament to time

The leaves rustle

Cinnamons sweet smell

Echoed laughter

Lost to the oceans roar

Swaying waves

Smash along the rocky shore

Tidal retreat reveals all

The leaves fall

Autumn shows true

Scattered foliage of auburn

Homage to her hair

The water still

To the overcast storm

Ripples within our reflection

I remained

You found shelter

Winters pale sunlight

Shone through baron tree

Sun and moon

Hung in the sky

Snow began to fall

Footprints on the promenade

The tide withdrawn

No trace left

Of the two sets left before

Are we suffering from amnesia?

In a life where everything is in high demand and fast paced, I cannot help but recollect how we got to this point. It is certain to say that the modern way of life is the best way of life that we have known. Thanks to innovations in technologies and the rise of the internet, health has never been better (except for the current pandemic) and food distribution has never been more accessible than now. This generally happening from the 90’s onwards but began at the beginning of the industrial revolution. Yet even in this prime age of living, we seem to have an unrelenting feeling in our inner souls. Depression and anxiety are at an all-time high, global warming although still questioned is becoming more and more identifiable as the cause of sudden weather changes and natural disasters. So, as with everything our want for a better way of living must be met with challenges and strife.

This led me to ask the question, what would our society now look like if it were not for revelations within our history. There have been many times in previous history where wars were raged. It holds a big part, battles were fought across the world, new regimes making way from the old regimes. New conquerors setting out to make their mark on the world. From the Roman Empire taking over major parts of the world, followed by Alexander the Great conquering many lands and making his name reach through the annals of future times. To most recently the British Empire and colonization of lands. It is through these brief yet monumental times within our history, where valid pieces of educational texts, philosophies of other civilizations way of life and many intellectual scholars have been destroyed and killed. Never for us to know what relevance they had ever held towards the world, the biggest example of this being the library at Alexandria. Even now in our modern day, we are still finding long lost historical monuments and texts, that seem to ask more questions than they answer.

The latest information of our oldest civilizations as we know it stems from historical dig sites that have found ancient tablets from a civilization known as the Sumerians. They lived in an area of land called Mesopotamia which is an area in modern day Iraq (Even now I think of all the damage done in the recent Iraq wars). Even now I’m perplexed at the idea of a civilization being able to write at such an early age in our history, but to do it with such beauty and understanding (even writing contracts), is a fundamental link to out existence then and our existence now.


So, I ask:

Are we all just lost in life? We all seem to ask a valid question for the purpose of our existence. Did we have a better understanding of it then? If so, is this the reason we are so perplexed by life’s fast pace in these modern times? Is this the reason why so many of us are depressed? The missing parts of our history, that can directly correlate existence from thousands of years prior to our modern day.

In this age of technology, we can share our thoughts and innovations over a broader scale. This clearly has only helped humanities case in the confines of our existence, it has allowed us to progress at an exponential rate, more so than ever before. Would it be unwise for me to assume therefore that we may even find ourselves in a more advanced state if it were not for the lost history that we shall never know. Even now I think of the Great Pyramids of Giza and wonder in the achievement of something so magnificently monumental. That even now in our present time we could not achieve such a magnificent piece of architecture. We live fast lives and as such we get truly little time to just sit and wonder, or maybe it is just easier to forget?

Neuralink. Good or Bad?

This is the new piece of hardware technology that acts as a software for potential problems within your brain. Identifying problems of anxiety, memory loss, hearing loss, blindness, insomnia, seizures and depression to name a few of the many problems it claims to help. Whilst these are wonderful things to combat against, I cannot help but feel it comes with a cost (I do not mean in value terms). I have tried to research into the product a bit more, but I do not trust Wikipedia, their own website leading to prospective job opportunities only and aside from that an article released in May that tells of this product being available to consumers within a year.

For me it is hard not question such a technological wonder, on the outside it does all these wonderful things for the betterment of humanity and it will therefore act as interface for connecting to A.I all over the world. The problem is that it acts as interface for connecting to A.I all over the world. So, talking will be a thing of the past, because we will be able to relay our own thoughts to each other without having to speak through telepathic augmentation devices.

Now I do not know enough about this yet, but it has me personally concerned. It has me concerned for many factors:

  1. It is implanted into the brain– For me, the brain is the window for the soul, I would not want anybody else to have willing access to my inner most thoughts. That is what psychologists are for. You would not want a hacker to hack your computer, so why would you willingly have your whole self in a vulnerable position where ‘you’ could be hacked?
  2. GPS- Well, there are both positives and negatives to take away from this one. If you were to get hurt, need assistance, kidnapped or just generally lost. Then this would be a great thing to have, we already have it with our phones, but then also comes the problem. Anyone could know where you were at any given moment throughout your entire life. You could no longer surprise people; you would never be free, and it would diminish police force whilst possibly lowering crime.
  3. Malfunction- What happens if the device defaults? Will it have detrimental affects to your brain, will the way you perceive reality be haltered through such a device? There is just not enough information to understand the true implications of such a device.
  4. Virus- We are all very aware that computers can get a virus and mobile phones are prone too. So, what happens if your device implanted into your brain would get a virus? What would be the damage to your mental health if such a thing were to happen?
  5. Updates- We all know that operating systems require frequent updates, and some of these updates have legal jargon accompanied which we never truly bother to read because of the time it would take to read them and legal language is not the easiest to understand. Would an update to such a device hinder your cognitive capabilities, would an update change the understanding that you have legally with the system? Where would you stand if you wanted it removed?
  6. We were so busy concerned with if we could, that we neglected to ask if we should- Do we really need such a device? We are all contracted to the same fate within life, we age, we get sick, we die. That is a part of human existence. This device will counteract such problems and may leave us alive well past our ‘best before’ date. The implications of this would be profound in terms of life expectancy and working expectancy, is that a good thing for the future generations? When limited prospects now are a concern?


I only have my own thoughts on the technology as it is now, but with anything that promises good results there must be concern to why they have not listed the possible bad concerns that they may have. Elon Musk has already enlightened his own thoughts on the A.I taking over the world. With an augmented technology such as this, are we not only making ourselves become part of a bigger concern?


I would greatly appreciate anybody else’s findings on this wonderful yet harrowing piece of technology:


Do the benefits of the device outweigh the negatives?


Are we running before we can walk?


Is our freedom the cost of happy, healthy living? If so, is it a fair price to pay?


Should these products and innovations be allowed to be bought by consumers?


Thanks for reading. Peace and love as always.


Is Modern Thought Convoluted?


I say this because I am concerned. I am concerned about the future generations of humans, where it seems that our thoughts are being controlled. I was watching an advert today and it was inspiring, it was hopeful, it was powerful, it was all these things, but it was selling a product. The other truth being that it was not words written by the advertisement production but rather words of history. I then thought to myself that this was dangerous. How will the past be seen in the eyes of future humans? Will they celebrate ‘Nike’ and their method of ‘Just Do It’? will future heroes be seen through a marketing scheme, what is to be for the future generations of human existence.

What constitutes as freedom of thought? When we are drilled every day of what we should and should not say. The angry activists of cancel culture, when do we say enough is enough. What is the limit at which they will stop? It is a terrifying time to be alive right now. With political decisions and indecisions not for the right of the people. Why is it that the more we seem to progress, the more chaos there is? There has never been a better time to be alive than right now, yet we have so much social discord that it makes me wonder. Why are people so angry? What is the true cause of all this angst, I think it has been boiling for a long time and it has now reached its pinnacle and that is where all this rage comes from? We have social justice warriors fighting a fight for the sake of fighting it. We have feminism taking the world by storm, and it is all directed at white males. They are why the world is the way it is, with social discord and civil unrest. It is the ‘apparent’ patriarchal state that we live in that has designed a world with such hostility and anguish that the only consensus to gain from this is dismay and disarray.

I cannot agree with this notion because it is deplorable. The suffering of black people/ women is something that I will never understand because I am neither, but as a white male I have never thought myself privileged in any way shape or form or for that matter superior to any gender or colour that a person may be. Yet we have been characterised into a group in society and all our individualisms are disregarded because that is the way society has perceived the modern times of social and political understandings. It is to the point that you can not even speak your own mind or free will because the radicals of which are pushing the notions of race and gender inequalities are the same radicals who will tell you what you should and shouldn’t do. I have never been inspired more to fight against such injustice as this one, because it is a dangerous path we are heading towards. Hypocrites is the only truth of these people, they tell you what you should and should not do, should and should not say, they scowl and scorn if you are different to their way of thinking. This is dangerous because it has a hidden agenda, if they can silence you by making you feel like you are wrong for saying or doing the things that you believe in, then they will not stop there. They will cancel your whole way of life and they will do it with moral conviction, apathy and empathy because they believe themselves to know what the right way is to act and behave more than you know yourself. This approach is disconcerting because they are appealing to your humanity, but then they are taking your humanity away, because whatever you feel or have to say is a part of being human.

The truth is, that human’s are by nature flawed and by saying that any one person has a right to tell you how you should live and tell you what is right from wrong is an injustice to human life itself. If we are to live in a future where cancel culture prevails, where social justice warriors are telling you what is right and what is wrong and as such are able to arrogantly defy laws and structures to get their anguish forward then democracy itself fails, because it would become a façade. What these politically correct heroes do not realise is that they are setting themselves up for failure and tyranny. The humanity you so fight for will be lost inhumanely, because the conquest for redemption of our wicked ways and our individual thoughts will not stop there. When everybody is the same and every reason just, what will the causality be, what will the devastation require? It will require less people, less humanity, because the reasons you are fighting for will not matter. When everyone can coexist without an opposite thought we become a collective, a formation of robots. It would be an end to freedom of thought and freedom as we know it. The true understanding of the way you feel or what thoughts you have stem from the fact that you have someone opposing you, if you didn’t have opposition, you would not know how you feel. The same is true with males and females, hot and cold, up and down, good and bad. They are needed for the other one to be. If there was no good there would be no bad after all.

Please do not get me wrong, I know there are injustices in the world, but I do not understand this sudden rise of hatefulness towards a society that has always accepted people for their individualism. If the way of life now is to assign yourself to a group, then you are voluntarily making yourself a statistic. The moral discord heading towards a state of fascism and it is nobody’s fault, we are all just incoherently wired to fail, the true nature of existing is chaos. Without that there could not be order.

The Game of Life for an Introvert

The time is 3am on a Monday morning. The only time that I seem to have a true understanding of life. The only time I want to work out, go for a jog and do something productive. Why can’t I be like this during the day? I know what must be done, but really in the middle of the night? Not ideal really, my mind is alive and firing on all cylinders, but this time is the time for sleeping. Productivity is for the day. I delve deep into my mind and try to find a reason, an understanding for this behaviour, but instead I delve deeper inside my persona. I am an introvert, I know this, I have extroverted friends and that lifestyle is exhausting to me. When I try to explain to them my behaviours, they find it alien to their way of life. However, I am captivated by their own way of living. I get jealous that they could just be themselves around people and not have to worry about what they might be doing or what they may have to say. Why can’t I be more like them? Well the answer to that is simple, it is because I am not them, I am me, and for me to understand how I am the way I am; they would have to be the way they are. Dualism at work again within the confines of human existence.
It occurred to me some time ago now that life is just a game, and the way you play the game and apply yourself is the way that life shapes out for you. If you never pick up a controller and act within your own life, well then you will forever be stuck in the same place. Sometimes it just feels like life is stacked up against you and when things are going well, they suddenly do a U-turn and you find yourself back where you started or even worse off than you were before. I know that my life has done this on many occasions. Even now I find myself in a rut, but if I was writing a post from the frame of mind I was in a year and a half ago, then I would not be writing this piece that I write right now. The truth behind it all however is that it is all part of the game, and even if I do not choose to play the game, then it does not mean that the game is not still switched on. I have become a bystander in the game and as such have become not what I should be.
I have thoughts, negative thoughts and this consumes me. It consumes me so much that I wear it with pride and revert into myself, where the world leaves me alone and I can be me, the introvert that I am. Then I am where I pretend, I wish to be, and as such find myself alone, with my own raving thoughts colluding in my mind to try and make a sense of what I am. Then it comes to me as a realisation, that I am what I have always been and that is a no-one, so strange to be this in a world where everyone desires to be someone. Then it occurred to me, that for there to be someone worth anything in the world then there must be nobodies (duality making itself noticeable again.)
So, I torture myself, because I know the truth of my existence, yet I don’t act on this, instead I re-examine, I try to understand my way out of the situation I find myself in, but sometimes action is required and you can’t hide yourself away from a world that you are a part of. Then life is just a day and not the moments, the experiences within these days that make the life worthwhile. So, my thoughts of action take hold and I wonder of what I will do on the morrow. I existence in the mind of something that I hope to be but only if I can act will this become actuality and therefore a reality of the future.
I will try to explain these thoughts now. For tomorrow will come and I will wake up, I will brush my teeth, swirl the mouthwash, take the dog for a walk, and I may meet a stranger, will I walk on by or take action. Will I break the silence with the voice of existence, or simply walk on back? Life is full of these moments, I am sure we all have moments where we wish that we had said something instead of not, where we wished that we took an action instead of just letting the moment pass. Is that what separates an introvert from an extrovert? We overthink the situation too much, so we are always living in a manufactured future, rather than an actual present. We are so scared of failure that we avoid it no matter the cost, and such become a failure of our own desire? The only truth I know at this moment is that life is made for living, and living is a game. So instead of being what it is that you think society would like you to be, what your peers would like to be and what you would like you to be, why not instead just be. Pick that controller up and act instead of cheating yourself out of a game worth living. Besides, you never know. You just might surprise yourself and find the life you have always wanted but would have never known if it was not for the action you took to make it.

Peace and Love as always

Stephen Lane

What is going on?




I am struggling to understand the world as it is now, it almost seems like it was made in a way for it not to be understood. There are many topics I could choose to focus on, such as the corona virus pandemic, the right versus left politics, the spontaneous explosions in Iran and Belarus, the Post Office in America being given control of to a new postmaster general who is also one of Trumps cronies. These are just part of the bigger picture, a picture that maybe we cannot see yet. I could instead turn my attention to the black lives matter movement, the replacement of statues or the renaming of military bases, for whatever cause that would endeavour. I will say only that these are mere distractions to bigger cause and effect. There are also the problems of China, with business investment that contort to what the riches decide for the poor. Then the adverse weather conditions that only raise more concerns about our living habits and the way that countries are not at all ready to handle such instances that time will only allow to worsen. Then I could talk about the protests of education in England and how students are showing concern over a grading system which only lowers their results, mainly in impoverished areas. This all adds to the fact that it is a mad world. Where chaos controls every action that we are to make. This feels like it is the beginning of something bigger than what I can understand or comprehend. I’m trying to fit all the factors in place of all the pieces of factual evidence that I can ascertain from the most influential countries of the world, but there is too much nonsensical data and to find the worthwhile data, you have to sift through all the unnecessary. This is a concern I find for the future generations, that the system will be so bogged down of unnecessary concerns that we may forget what it is that truly matters to us, as a society and as a human race. When we fill our lives, with 10-minute segments of YouTube videos, or 15-second clips of TikTok porn, where do we find the time to fit in what truly matters to us? We try to escape too often, that is our dilemma as a race. We escape to the movies, we escape to the T.V, we escape into video games. Why are we trying to escape life so much? Why are we all in so much pain, that we have to visit a doctor who will then prescribe anti-depressants to try and make us act more normal in a society which is anything but normal and a world that is completely bonkers. We divide ourselves through our countries, and segregate within them. Only to be told that it is wrong for there to be segregation inside our countries and we force ourselves upon one another, contorting each belief and moral value to the whim of the other, in order to make a generalised copy of human lives morals and values. Through this we break barriers of segregation and diversity and through this we are more divided from ourselves, let us not stop there though because these beliefs of unification are universal, and this is the way everyone should live and behave. Life does not work this way though and one person’s ideal is not that of another’s. We are simply too single minded for any one person to hold the true answer to everything and for us to think so would both make us hypocrites and bigots. This is the catch-22 of all existence and will be our inevitable downfall. For as we all can tell from life’s lessons and past failings that there is always a conscientious opposing force to the one, we wish to adhere to. The complexity of duality inherited through thousands of years of evolution, which complete our existence and all we can hope to fathom from it. We all live, and we all die, yet we bring ourselves to a fork in the road and not for the first time, and I know there are people out there who feel that living is worse than dying. I have felt that too, on many occasions, so I do not blame you for wanting to escape such a harsh reality, such as this one that you have been thrown into. Just know that there are two sides to every coin and if you do not like the side you are on, then in this imperfect dualistic world just switch over. Then when we come to the fork in the road, we will not be so far away from choosing the way to go.